Only texts when he wants something
One-way street
If contact spikes around his needs and vanishes otherwise, the relationship is built around his convenience, not you.
Private dating wingman
Is he using you? Convenience isn't the same as care.
Being used looks like effort that only flows one way. Paste the pattern and I'll help you see whether he's invested in you — or just in what you give him.
Tell me what he said.
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REAL DECODES
Being used, decoded.
Never asks about your life
No real investment
Genuine interest is curious about you. A lack of questions over time signals he's not invested in who you are.
Avoids plans in public
Keeping you hidden
Someone who only sees you privately or last-minute may be keeping you as an option, not a partner.
Warm when together, gone after
Hot then absent
Affection that switches off the moment he has what he wanted is a strong sign you're being used, not chosen.
DEARHIM REMEMBERS THE CONTEXT YOU CHOOSE
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WHY IT HELPS
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It starts with what actually happened.
DearHim points to the wording, timing, specificity, plans, boundaries, and follow-through you provide.
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The pattern can matter more than one text.
Saved context can connect the latest message with earlier plans, changes, promises, and follow-through.
DATING NOTES
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FAQ
More about being used.
What are the signs he's using me?
Contact only around his needs, no curiosity about your life, avoidance of real plans, and affection that disappears afterward. DearHim reads your pattern to tell you whether it fits.
What should I do if he's using me?
Stop supplying what he's after for free and watch what's left. If he steps up, things change; if he vanishes, he answered the question. I'll help you decide your move.
Can someone use you and still have feelings?
Maybe — but feelings without consistent effort don't build a relationship. Effort is the measure that matters.
Is this really free?
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Your next move
Bring DearHim the dating question in front of you.
Understand the conversation, find a reply that sounds like you, and follow what happens next.