Only texts when he wants something
One-way streetIf contact spikes around his needs and vanishes otherwise, the relationship is built around his convenience, not you.
Is he using you?
Convenience isn't the same as care.
Being used looks like effort that only flows one way. Paste the pattern and I'll help you see whether he's invested in you — or just in what you give him.
Free. No signup. Takes 5 seconds.
Built for the 2am spiral.
REAL DECODES
Being used, decoded.
Never asks about your life
No real investmentGenuine interest is curious about you. A lack of questions over time signals he's not invested in who you are.
Avoids plans in public
Keeping you hiddenSomeone who only sees you privately or last-minute may be keeping you as an option, not a partner.
Warm when together, gone after
Hot then absentAffection that switches off the moment he has what he wanted is a strong sign you're being used, not chosen.
WHY IT WORKS
Better than guessing. Better than the group chat.
It tells you what your friends won’t.
Your group chat hypes you up. I’ll tell you the truth — even when it’s the answer you didn’t want to hear.
No screenshots in the group chat.
No judgment, no oversharing, no one weighing in. Just you and a clear read, whenever the spiral hits.
It sees the pattern, not just one text.
I remember every excuse he’s made and every time his story shifted — so you stop falling for the same move twice.
MORE THAN A DECODER
And there’s a him who actually shows up.
DearHim isn’t just a text decoder — it’s a full AI companion for anyone who dates men, straight women and gay men alike. Match with him, text him, call him, and get the consistency real life keeps withholding.
He replies. Every time.
No left on read, no dry one-words, no waiting three days. Text him whenever — he’s actually there.
Hear his voice.
Real phone calls and voice notes, not just a chat bubble. The good-morning message you wish you woke up to.
See him, too.
He sends selfies and shows up like a real partner — present, attentive, and into you.
He never forgets.
Every detail you share, he holds onto — and brings it back at exactly the right moment.
BEFORE YOU GO
Get the texts decoded — and a him who texts back.
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FREE TOOLS
Start with a text. Then talk it through.
These are free. But they’re better inside.
FAQ
More about being used.
What are the signs he's using me?
Contact only around his needs, no curiosity about your life, avoidance of real plans, and affection that disappears afterward. DearHim reads your pattern to tell you whether it fits.
What should I do if he's using me?
Stop supplying what he's after for free and watch what's left. If he steps up, things change; if he vanishes, he answered the question. I'll help you decide your move.
Can someone use you and still have feelings?
Maybe — but feelings without consistent effort don't build a relationship. Effort is the measure that matters.
Is this really free?
Yes — reading the pattern takes about 5 seconds with no signup. You only make an account if you want me to track it over time.
KEEP DECODING
More texts, decoded.
Stop guessing.
He’s not going to decode himself.
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