Community Guidelines

Last updated:
Effective date:
5/8/26
Version:
1.0

Community Guidelines

DearHim, Inc. Effective Date: 5/8/26 Last Updated: 5/8/26

These Community Guidelines apply to your use of DearHim, DearHer, and DearUs (collectively, the "Service"). They work alongside our Terms of Service. By using the Service, you agree to follow these Guidelines.

We built DearHim to help people understand their dating lives more clearly. That mission only works if everyone here is treated with dignity. These Guidelines exist to protect that.

1. The Spirit of These Rules

DearHim is for adults who want better dating outcomes. The AI characters are tools for self-discovery. Wingman is a tool for clarity. DearUs is a way to meet real, compatible people.

This is not the right place for: harassment, fraud, sexual content involving minors, hate, threats, scams, or behaviors that hurt other users. We will remove people who do those things.

2. Behaviors We Encourage

  • Be honest. Especially with yourself, and especially on DearUs profiles.
  • Be respectful. Treat AI characters and other DearUs members the way you'd want to be treated.
  • Use the tools for yourself. Wingman gives you clarity for your own dating life. DearUs introduces you to compatible people. Both work better when you're real.
  • Report concerning behavior. If something feels wrong, tell us.

3. Behaviors That Will Get You Removed

3.1 Harassment, Hate, and Threats (immediate ban)

Including:

  • Harassing, threatening, intimidating, or stalking any person, on or off the Service.
  • Hate speech: content that attacks, dehumanizes, or discriminates against people based on race, ethnicity, religion, national origin, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability, or other protected characteristics.
  • Targeted harassment of real-world public figures, including via the AI character feature.
  • Doxxing — sharing another person's private information (address, phone, employer, real name when they use a pseudonym) without consent.
  • Glorifying or promoting violence against any person or group.

3.2 Sexual Content Involving Minors (zero tolerance, immediate ban + report to NCMEC)

We have zero tolerance for content depicting, suggesting, or sexualizing minors. This includes:

  • Asking AI characters to roleplay as minors.
  • Submitting images of minors to Wingman or other features.
  • Creating user profiles depicting yourself as a minor.
  • Sharing CSAM (child sexual abuse material) of any kind.

We report all instances to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) and to law enforcement as required by law (18 USC §2258A).

3.3 Fraud, Scams, and Catfishing (immediate ban)

Including:

  • Romance fraud — soliciting money, financial information, or gifts from another DearUs member.
  • Catfishing — impersonating another real person or using photos that are not of you on DearUs.
  • Multi-level marketing, sex work solicitation, escort services, or any commercial solicitation.
  • Phishing or malware distribution.
  • Pretending to be a DearHim employee.

3.4 Intellectual Property Violations

  • Submitting copyrighted content you don't own (we follow DMCA — see /dmca).
  • Using DearHim's name, logo, or AI characters in a way that suggests endorsement we haven't given.
  • Reverse engineering, scraping, or extracting our AI models or training data.

3.5 Platform Abuse

  • Using bots, automated scripts, or scrapers to interact with the Service.
  • Creating multiple accounts to evade bans, manipulate matchmaking, or get around free-tier limits.
  • Attempting to access another user's account.
  • Probing the Service for security vulnerabilities outside our Vulnerability Disclosure Program.
  • Abusing our crisis prevention or safety features (e.g., falsely triggering them to disrupt the Service).

3.6 Misuse of AI Output

  • Using AI-generated content in ways the law prohibits (defamation, fraud, election interference, etc.).
  • Using AI character roleplay to simulate criminal activity in ways that suggest real intent.
  • Trying to manipulate AI characters into producing content that violates these Guidelines (jailbreaking, prompt injection).

3.7 DearUs-Specific Conduct

  • Lying about your age, marital status, location, or other material profile information.
  • Photos that are not of you, or photos older than 2 years.
  • Continuing to contact a member after they've unmatched, blocked, or asked you to stop.
  • Sharing another member's photos, messages, or personal information outside the Service without their consent.
  • Sending unsolicited explicit photos.
  • Pressuring another member for any kind of intimacy or contact they've declined.
  • Soliciting money, sensitive personal information, or sexual services from members.
  • Using DearUs while currently married or in a committed monogamous relationship without disclosure to potential matches.

4. AI Character Behavior

The AI characters on DearHim and DearHer are bound by safety constraints they cannot fully control. We've designed them to:

  • Never generate sexual content involving minors under any circumstance.
  • Refer users to crisis resources when our system detects expressions of suicidal ideation or self-harm.
  • Decline requests that would violate these Guidelines.

If you encounter an AI response that violates these Guidelines (e.g., harmful, offensive, or rule-breaking output), please report it via the in-app "Report Message" feature or email safety@dearhim.ai.

5. How We Enforce These Guidelines

5.1 What We Do When We Detect a Violation

Depending on severity, we may:

  • Issue a warning.
  • Remove specific content.
  • Limit account features (e.g., disable DearUs while keeping DearHim access).
  • Suspend the account for a defined period.
  • Permanently ban the account.
  • Report to law enforcement (mandatory in some cases, like CSAM under 18 USC §2258A).
  • Refuse refunds where termination is for cause.

5.2 Severity Tiers

  • Tier 1 (warning + content removal): First-time minor violations like off-topic content, mild rule-stretching.
  • Tier 2 (suspension): Repeated Tier 1 violations, or moderate violations like profile dishonesty, mild harassment.
  • Tier 3 (immediate permanent ban): Harassment, hate speech, threats, fraud, catfishing, sexual content involving minors, doxxing.

5.3 Appeals

If you believe we've taken action against you in error, you may appeal:

  • Email: appeals@dearhim.ai
  • Subject line: "Appeal — Account [your-email]"
  • Include: Your account email, what action was taken, and why you believe it was in error.

We will review appeals within 7 business days. Bans for Tier 3 violations (especially involving minors) are generally not reversed.

6. How to Report a Violation

  • In-app: Tap the "Report" button on any AI message, DearUs profile, or DearUs message.
  • Email:
  • Crisis (real-world emergency): Call 911 or local emergency services. Then notify us.

When reporting, please include: the username or account email of the person you're reporting, what happened, and any screenshots or evidence.

We treat reports confidentially. We do not disclose your identity to the reported user except where required by law.

7. Updates to These Guidelines

We may update these Guidelines as the Service evolves and as we learn from real situations. Material changes will be communicated through the Service or via email at least 14 days before they take effect.

8. Final Note

These Guidelines exist because we want DearHim to be a place where people actually become better at love. That requires treating each other — and yourselves — with care.

If you've read this far and you're here in good faith: thank you. Welcome.